TO THE PRETTIEST
Sung primarily by Paris about how hard it is to choose between Goddesses, with the Goddesses arguing in the background in and offering him the classic rewards. Hermes should keep busting in from offstage, obviously flaming, to assert he is the prettiest and fabulous as well, song cuts off abruptly in the middle of a cacophony of conflicting voices. Oh, and there needs to be a line about where hasn't Zeus' dick been.
- 50s love ballad
- Hamilton-esque rap (Bonus points for "Aphrodite!" "Athena!" "And Hera!" "The Olympus sisters!")
- 80s Boy Band